Blue Sunset's Personal blog

Between Responsibilities and Dreams My Life as the Eldest Daughter and a Student

Being the eldest daughter comes with a unique set of challenges,especially when you’re also a student. It feels like I’m constantly balancing two worlds, one where I carry responsibilities at home, and another where I chase my dreams through education. Some days, I feel strong, like I can handle everything. Other days, it feels overwhelming, like the weight of expectations is too much to bear. But through it all, I keep going, because that’s what panganay do, right?

As the eldest, there’s this unspoken rule that I have to be responsible, mature, and understanding at all times. I help with chores, look after my brother and cousins, and sometimes, I even feel like a second parent. There are moments when I wish I could take a break, but then guilt creeps in,what if I’m not doing enough? What if I disappoint my family? It’s a constant push and pull between wanting to be there for them and wanting to focus on myself.

Mornings start early helping at home before rushing to school, making sure everything is in place before I even think about my own day. At school, I try to focus, but sometimes my mind drifts to unfinished tasks at home. Then, when I come back, I switch roles again , helping out, checking on my brother and cousins, and making sure I’m being the responsible panganay my family expects me to be. Finding time for myself, for rest, or even just to breathe, often feels like a luxury.

There are days when I want to talk about how exhausting it all is, but I hold back. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, and I don’t want to burden anyone. So instead, I just keep pushing forward, pretending I have everything under control. But deep down, I wonder do they see how hard I’m trying? Do they realize that even though I carry these responsibilities with love, I also carry them with exhaustion?

Despite everything, I know why I do this. I want to succeed, not just for myself, but for my family. I want to make them proud, to create a future where things might be a little easier for us. I remind myself that my sacrifices today will pay off someday. And even in the toughest moments, I find comfort in small things laughing with my brother and cousins, the quiet moments of peace, the dreams that keep me motivated.

Being the panganay and a student at the same time isn’t easy. It’s a daily battle of responsibilities, expectations, and personal ambitions. But I’m learning that it’s okay to take a break, to acknowledge my own feelings, and to remind myself that I’m doing my best. To all the eldest daughters out there you are seen, you are appreciated, and your hard work does not go unnoticed.

#bestrongpanganay #bestrongperson